Jon Colman begins a two-part look back at the good, the bad, and the bizarre from the Blues in 2017

QUOTES OF THE YEAR

As ever at a club managed by Keith Curle, 2017 was another vintage year for words and phrases that ventured from the norm.

Examples from United's boss included his controversial claim after a defeat at Plymouth that some people inside the club "will be quite enjoying the fact I'm not being successful".

Only, Curle meanwhile, could sprinkle Rag 'n' Bone Man lyrics into a post-defeat press conference by way of asserting that he is "only human after all".

Later, the Blues manager made it clear how eager he was to sign Hallam Hope, stating he had chased the striker harder than anyone before - "ex-wife, ex-partner and current girlfriend included".

Others made impact with their words - "the Islington Assassin lays down his weapons and signs out," wrote the departing Jabo Ibehre in May - but Curle trumped everything with a colourful monologue during United's poor start to the current season.

His lengthy description of his under-fire team as someone's "missus", showing "sad eyes" when hoodlums were calling her a "minger", was something of a departure from "the lads have been working hard in training."

UNDISCLOSED FEE OF THE YEAR

The normal way of burying transfer fees in confidentiality accompanied Charlie Wyke's move to Bradford, even when his £250,000 tag was not so much open secret as full-page advertisement.

It did not take long, amid the Bantams' interest, for the striker's release clause to become public knowledge. It was also known to most when the deal was duly done.

As if to make sure, Bradford then let it slip in a club statement several weeks after the event, despite both clubs supposedly still in agreement not to reveal the amount.

This was the "Don't tell him, Pike" of transfers.

CAMEOS OF THE YEAR

Carlisle's stumbling form in the springtime brought a few new faces into the fray, some of whom barely made it past the clocks going forward.

Junior Joachim, signed with crowdfunding money, managed two appearances, the same as Ben Tomlinson. Both got twice as many outings as James Hooper, while he fared better than Joe Ward, who left the Blues without having played once.

Much more evocatively, Tony Hopper's charity game in May saw George McVitie, 68, back in a blue shirt and on his old Brunton Park right wing. It was brief but beautiful.

MATCH OF THE YEAR

United were involved in some eventful spectacles in 2017, but there was no greater occasion than that May afternoon when memories and old faces flocked back to Brunton Park.

The reunion for Tony Hopper was entertaining, well-supported, deeply nostalgic and, particularly at the end, highly emotional.

The score was 7-6 to Carlisle's old boys against a Workington Reds legends team, but the best outcome was the warmth and love that flowed towards Hopper in his courageous and dignified battle with motor neurone disease, and the charity fundraising that accompanied it.

BILLIONAIRES OF THE YEAR

A two-horse race, edged this year by Philip Day, on account of being an actual billionaire, while the description of Yahya Kirdi as a person of extreme wealth may require a steward's enquiry.

Dubbed as such from the start of his confidential pursuit of United, the Syrian former pizza shop owner Kirdi - still yet to be officially named by the club - was finally dropped by the Blues in February after 21 months.

Into his void stepped Day, whose Edinburgh Woollen Mill set up a "loan facility" to help the Blues.

Neither of those scenarios prevented fans having a whipround to sign players in the spring, or put the squad up for an extra night before an FA Cup tie in December, so the journey towards prosperity had a little way still to run.

SIGNING OF THE YEAR

It's tempting to give this one hands (or wings) down to Buzz, the hawk drafted in on an emergency loan to scare off pigeons who had been decorating seats in Brunton Park.

Another saviour, though, was the best arrival of Carlisle United's 2017. The fact he was knocking 39 did not matter a jot.

Clint Hill came in the nick of time as the Blues looked set for a season of real struggle. Things haven't looked quite so bad since the veteran spread his influence around the back four and training ground.

JOINT OF THE YEAR

No, this isn't a drugs scandal wafting from Brunton Park. It is a category of its own, so that Richie Bennett's right elbow can get the recognition it deserves.

According to United, the summer signing broke it as a child and, rather than have an operation, it was allowed to set naturally.

Natural is the last word to describe the resulting protrusion, which could take your eye out from 10 paces.

MOTIVATION OF THE YEAR

There are pre-match team talks, half-time hairdryers, the pasting of headlines on the dressing-room wall and mind games between managers.

Not many, though, reach for comedy box sets in order to get the desired effect. Yet Keith Curle did exactly that in an attempt to get his team out of a losing run at Yeovil, showing his players clips of Only Fools and Horses and the Two Ronnies.

"There was a subliminal message," Curle insisted. "Expect the unexpected."

When the chuckles subsided, Carlisle ended their drought with a 2-0 win.

GOAL OF THE YEAR

A few gems, including Nicky Adams' peach against Newport and Danny Grainger's netbuster against Yeovil. Jamie Proctor's header against Exeter was less spectacular but highly important, while John O'Sullivan's cross that swerved home against the same side kept United's play-off semi-final alive - likewise his second-leg header.

2017's most stunning finish, though, came in September, and there might not be a more eyecatching moment at the Warwick Road End this decade than Shaun Miller's cushion and overhead volley against Barnet.

From the moment Shamal George sent it forward, the ball didn't hit the deck again until Miller had smacked it past Barnet's keeper. It was route one with jangling bells on - so good, he practically copied it against Accrington on Boxing Day.

BUTTON OF THE YEAR

In the spirit of fairness and balance, Sky Sports screened both Luton v Blackpool play-off games on their main channel, whilst shoving both legs of Carlisle v Exeter behind the red button.

The decision duly limited the options for United supporters to watch the crucial fixtures live, annoying several.

"Ultimately it was an editorial decision made by our football team," said the broadcaster; a detailed and thorough comment that cleared things up to everyone's satisfaction.

LAW OF THE YEAR

Everyone agreed that the game needed to clamp down on diving. It was Carlisle's misfortune to be the history-makers here, as Shaun Miller received a two-game ban for tumbling against Wycombe in October as the first player found guilty of "successful deception of a match official."

A handful of other cases followed, including a dive against the Blues by Morecambe's Sam Lavelle.

Without exception, each guilty party, and their club, objected to the charge and resulting suspension, feeling the punishment either mistaken or harsh. Some, like Bristol City, wrote essays in defence of their man.

It can be concluded, then, that while simulation is a horrible plague and must be eradicated at all costs, our clubs definitely don't do it so please leave them alone.

Part Two on Saturday: Comebacks, courtrooms, polls and protests