A KESWICK man callously destroyed a treasured memory box belonging to his partner as he subjected her to “multiple methods” of control.
Shaun Brown, 32, who laughed at the idea of a memory box following a bereavement, verbally abused the woman and subjected her to “emotional blackmail” by threatening to kill himself when she spoke about leaving him, Carlisle Crown Court heard.
The defendant, of Kentigern Close, Keswick, admitted two counts of subjecting the woman to controlling and coercive behaviour over a six-month period.
He also pleaded guilty to causing criminal damage to the memory box.
Andrew Evans, prosecuting, outlined the offending.
The defendant began a relationship with the victim – a woman who was a decade younger than him – in April 2022.
"Within months the relationship featured verbal disputes that [the victim] found belittling," said Mr Evans.
"This escalated into verbal abuse of her in the most vile terms. That abuse centred around his assertion that she was being unfaithful to him."
The woman said that during his "more paranoid times," Brown was “off his head on drugs”.
Becoming preoccupied with his suspicion, Brown exhibited “volatile” and “erratic” behaviour and repeatedly checked the woman's social media as he tried to find out where she was and who she was with.
“He would also threaten to harm himself or commit suicide, which led [the victim] to feel emotionally blackmailed into staying in the relationship," continued Mr Evans. The woman "felt pressure" from Brown to fund his drugs use.
One of the most disturbing incidents happened when she tried to leave his flat and he refused to let her go.
She intended to take a “memory box” with her that hospital staff had given her following a bereavement. “But he destroyed it,” said Mr Evans.
The couple broke up but then got back together during last year. He again emotionally and verbally abused, screaming at her so much she felt fearful.
In an impact statement, the woman said what happened altered her personality, leaving her anxious and withdrawn.
She lost friendships and her relationship with her family suffered, she said.
Mr Evans said Brown had two previous “relationship” related harassment offences on his criminal record. The destruction of the victim’s memory box was particularly callous, said the prosecutor.
Marion Weir, defending, said Brown accepted that the offending he has admitted was “grossly unattractive.” She said: “He acknowledges the harm suffered by the complainant.
“The criminal damage matter was accepted from the outset.”
The barrister added that Brown had shown “genuine remorse” and understood that the victim had been through a difficult time. He had also spent 17 days on remand in prison after his arrest.
Judge Nicholas Barker said Brown had demonstrated a “tendency to behave in a similar fashion in relationships”.
The judge said the court often sees offences involving men who abuse drugs – typically cocaine; who become insecure and obsessed with infidelity.
A particularly “sad and disturbing” aspect of the case, said the judge, was Brown’s destruction of the woman’s memorial box, which he had disrespectfully laughed about when she mentioned it.
This was “deeply damaging” behaviour, said the judge.
But, accepting that there is rehabilitation work which could be done with the defendant, Judge Barker imposed a 17-month jail term, suspended for two years.
The sentence includes 180 hours of unpaid work. A five year restraining order bans any contact with the victim.
