IF you bought a ticket to see James Acaster in Carlisle on Tuesday night, you technically did see him.
But the person who walked - well, stormed - on stage in a sparkly red blazer and T-shirt suit was Craig Simons, self-proclaimed “number one James Acaster tribute act,” furious father of five, and a man with a personal vendetta.
The Old Fire Station, or 'Fire Hydrant' as he called it, had billed Acaster as one of the biggest names they’ve ever hosted, and with a show that sold out in seven seconds, expectations were high.
What followed was a truly Acaster-style work-in-progress: experimental and hilarious. Casual fans of the whimsical and inventive comic may not have expected quite this level of chaos...
Craig, a character Acaster is currently workshopping, opened by bellowing “POPPADOMS OR BREAD!” and chanting “KETTERING!”
From there, we learned about Craig’s hatred of Acaster – a comedian who, in his words, every reviewer insists on calling clever (so I will avoid that).
Simons talked about Pixar rewrites (Sh*ttatouie), and there were beautifully weird detours, including a rant about behaviour at airport baggage carousels and an extended sequence about ABBA murdering Björn Again, to name two.
Some bits were dark, some chaotic, but for devoted Acaster fans, this was a special show. Again, those more casual fans seemed to be inspecting Acaster – sorry, Craig Simons – questioning whether it was truly a tribute act.
More than once, he clocked the room’s lack of laughs and asked whether Carlisle was a Reform UK stronghold, as his political material didn’t seem to land as he’d hoped.
By the end, the Craig Simons narrative escalated to its logical, absurd conclusion: Craig killing James Acaster and taking his place.
As the gig drew to a close, the crowd finally seemed to understand what Acaster was doing. He left to applause, only to come straight back on stage.
Acaster – now as himself, not Craig Simons – acknowledged that not every joke had landed. He even told the crowd, “You’ve been useful.” But what more could you expect from a work-in-progress show?
He wrapped up the night with a reference to his appearance on BBC’s Saturday Kitchen – something he admitted has overshadowed his last few gigs.
James Acaster providing a late entrant to TV moment of the year on Saturday Kitchen pic.twitter.com/sBRD4FU0Fq
— poppy ☾ (@scddevereaux) December 6, 2025
He described his iconic (or ‘disgraceful’) live-TV moment where he left-hooked a polar bear, shook a Christmas tree, and flipped a Christmas wreath in a fit of rage – sending five baubles skittering across the floor.
He’s planning an Easter return, he said, involving a public apology, plenty of smashed eggs and drop-kicking the Easter bunny.
It’s hard to judge a work-in-progress by traditional standards, but that’s exactly the point. This hour was a special glimpse into Acaster’s creative workshop.
If the finished show ends up being even half as wild as this one, it’ll be essential viewing.
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