A 'BULLYING husband subjected his long-suffering wife to years of abuse and controlling behaviour which included “degrading” treatment and violence.

Professional west Cumbrian musician Paul Cameron, 52, accused his wife of “neglecting” him because she was spending precious time with her terminally ill mother, Carlisle Crown Court heard.

When his mother-in-law died, rather than supporting his grieving wife he told her he was glad she had died. 

The shocking details of Cameron’s controlling behaviour were revealed at his sentencing hearing. He admitted subjecting his wife to coercive and controlling behaviour over a six year period - between June, 2014, and January of last year.

Summarising the facts, Recorder Kate Bex QC said that the charge encompassed two assaults by the defendant ­— one in December, 2017, and another in December, 2019.

His wife had been aware that he drank heavily but in the early stages of their relationship, he moderated this and the relationship had seemed good, the court heard.

Cameron married the woman in Las Vegas.

But shortly after their married life began, in 2017, his wife's mother became seiourly ill. But instead of being supportive as his wife cared for her mother, Cameron accused her of “neglecting him.”

His wife was visiting her mother every day at The Cumberland Infirmary in Carlisle and it was clear the mother would not survive long, said the judge. Yet Cameron made his wife feel “obliged” to go away on holiday with him. Shortly after that holiday, the mother died.

At the wake, instead of supporting his wife, he told her: “I’m glad your mam’s dead: she was an oxygen thief.” Later that day, he told her he wanted a “strong woman, not a weak one”.

“You wanted to provoke her,” said the judge, who then described how Cameron subjected her to “an act of almost unbelievable degradation”.

He then told her she was worthless.

As she tried to get away, he followed her to another room and poured water over her face and grabbed her neck, shaking her.

“I have no doubt,” said the judge, “that you were trying to provoke her to hit you so you’d feel justified in being violent.”

His wife did not retaliate. The judge told Cameron, of Wythburn Road, Whitehaven, he was the “weaker” personality.

“Bullying is a sure sign of weakness,” continued the judge, describing how the defendant put his wife’s foot in his mouth and used his teeth to pull her toe-nail off, leaving her bruised and bleeding.

He then dragged her out of bed and fell asleep. She fled to her daughter’s home. He later apologised. Cameron's abuse of his wife was emotional and financial also, the court heard.

In the 2019 incident, she refused to get in a car with him because he was drunk. He drove home anyway and as they ate a takeaway meal, he again tried to provoke a confrontation, shattering a glass over the meal she was eating.

As she walked away, he followed her, got on top of her and then began choking her. The fact that he had done this on two occasions was "extremely troubling," said the judge.

He was also controlling the money, giving his wife £30 per week. His wife called him "greedy for money".

He had tried to drive a wedge between his wife and her family, belittling her relatives and telling her: "There's only me that loves you."

With support from her daughter, his wife finally spoke to the police about the abuse in February, 2020 in February last year.

His wife - who is in the process of divorcing Cameron - was no longer a victim of domestic violencel she was a survivor, said the judge.  Recorder Bex noted a previous attack by Cameron on another partner in 2012.

Having used multiple methods of abuse - physical, verbal, emotional and financial - Cameron had shown little genuine remorse or understanding of his offence, said the judge.

“You are what might colloquially be described as a wife beater, plain and simple,” said the judge.

Recorder Bex noted also how in conversations with a probation officer the defendant had tried to minimuse and justify his behaviour. Nor had he shown any genuine signs of remorse.

But Cameron would be unlikely to get the help he needed in jail and suspended a 21-month term for 24 months, said the judge.

He must take a relationships course, rehabilitation, do 180 hours of unpaid work and a five-year restraining order was imposed.  Concluding the case, the judge told Cameron: "You need to take responsibility for your actions.

"If you put your hand around a woman's neck again, choking her, or making her fear you are going to choke her, you will go to prison."

* If you are a victim of domestic abuse, check out the Freedom Project. Alternatively, looked the Cumbria Police page which signposts people to the help available at this link.

Always dial 999 in an emergency.