Things are somewhat confused in Carlisle right now. More than usual, I mean.

Something that needs to be built – Warwick Road’s flood defences – cannot be built yet.

And something that needs to be knocked down – the former Central Plaza Hotel – cannot be knocked down yet.

Things usually take a while to happen in Carlisle.

But here we have exciting new reasons for inaction.

These are thrilling variations on the city’s traditional “let’s spend a decade or two mulling things over before deciding not to bother” approach.

Many people are dismayed that work on the flood defences has been halted because it’s too wet.

On the bright side, at least this strengthens the case for them.

It’s an awkward situation though, like trying to fit sprinklers in a burning building. You know they’re needed but installing them is tricky. By the time you manage it, the place might have burned to the ground.

As for the Central Plaza, frustration is growing.

Or perhaps frustration remains at exactly the same size because a sense of resignation has instead set in.

Victoria Viaduct’s closure affects my journey to work. But do I moan about this? Yes, I do. Mainly, though, I adopt a bit of good old British stoicism.

This is the quality of calm acceptance which has been such a proud feature of the nation since the Brexit vote.

There may have been greater examples of quiet resolve in the face of adversity than me using Viaduct Estate Road instead of Victoria Viaduct.

I’m just pointing out that none springs to mind right now.

The real victims here are those businesses unable to open while Victoria Viaduct is cordoned off.

I hope for their sakes that the Central Plaza is demolished quickly.

Sadly, history is not on their side.

The old Dias music shop on Botchergate has been derelict for many years.

No-one seems to know exactly how long but its graffiti has been credited to Paleolithic-era cave artists.

Businesses in and around Victoria Viaduct will be praying that there are no further delays at the Central Plaza.

God help them if the demolition experts find any great crested newts.

At times like this some people become understandably impatient.

One reader on our Facebook page questioned the cost which has been quoted for the Plaza’s demolition.

They wrote: “Fred Dibhah wouldn’t have asked £2.5m – a few hundred quid, a pack of fags and some firewood he would have had it down in no time, and safely at that.’”

This gave me the idea of contacting Fred to see if he might be up for the job. Then I realised that he died in 2004.

Perhaps the council approached him in 2005 about demolishing the old Dias shop and are still waiting for a quote.

The delays around the flood defences and the Central Plaza are a bit depressing.

But we should try to look for positives.

Extinction Rebellion campaigners around the country are making some vital points about the environment.

The problem is that the inconvenience caused by their protests risks alienating potential supporters.

Victoria Viaduct offers the perfect solution.

Extinction Rebellion could stage protests at either side of the cordon.

They could have lots of speeches and banners and people glueing themselves to stuff.

And all this while blocking a vital route into the heart of Carlisle... which just happens to have been closed anyway.

If the Central Plaza is ever knocked down, could its stone be used in the flood defences?

It would be a form of recycling in the tradition of bits of Hadrian’s Wall finding their way into local barns and farmhouses.

I wonder which will happen first: the Central Plaza being demolished or work on the flood defences starting again?

Carlisle offers all sorts of games like this.

Which will reopen first: Victoria Viaduct or Waverley Viaduct?

Which will be demolished first: the Central Plaza or Dias?

Which will fly first: pigs, or planes from Carlisle Airport?

We can’t play that last one any more. So you see, things do happen here.

Just don’t be in a hurry.