Retiring Carlisle vicar will continue to touch lives

For the past nine years Eleanor has been the priest in charge of St Barnabas Church, in the Raffles area of Carlisle, and Holy Trinity Church on nearby Wigton Road. She has been a smiling, chatty presence in thousands of lives. And she is standing down this Sunday.

"I'm retiring because arthritis is kicking in," says Eleanor. "I didn't want to get to the stage where I wasn't well enough to do the job. I didn't want the parish to be looking after me - and they would have done. That's the kind of folk they are. They would have made allowances and nursed me along."

Such loving and giving is what Eleanor, 62, has practised as well as preached. Caring for flood victims. Setting up groups for families and the elderly. Helping victims of domestic violence. These are some of the ways she has striven to make a difference.

The number of people who describe themselves as Christians continues to fall. Eleanor is aware that many of those she helps may have no religious faith. She does not discriminate.

"Jesus didn't surround himself with those who believed. He gathered up a very motley crew of fishermen, tax collectors, all kinds of people. I think that's what He continues to do. I think in general there's less people who align themselves with the Christian faith. People that are members of a church now are making a much more conscious decision to be a Christian.

"I feel sad that a lot of people don't know how much God loves them. Through various community activities we've tried to get to know and work alongside folk that may not normally find church the first port of call."

Eleanor's own road to religion was neither short nor straight. She grew up in Harraby and had a career in HR, latterly delivering training with Enterprise Cumbria.

"I'd been in and out of church from childhood. From the early 1990s I had a real sense of needing to go to church. I went to St Michael's in Stanwix. I quickly felt part of the family. I had a sense of God calling me."

This was a feeling which, 20 years ago, intensified dramatically. "I was helping out with a short course in Christianity near Bradford and one of my jobs was to prepare the chapel for our services. On the Saturday night I sat quietly at the back looking towards the communion table. I had a real sense of God's presence - and saw Jesus reclining in front of the table. He said to me 'Eleanor, feed my sheep.' At first I thought it might just be my imagination. But later that evening I sought out a friend who was leading the weekend and he and I talked until about four o'clock in the morning.

"That was the beginning of my journey towards ordained ministry. Over the years I have told others about the vision - particularly those involved in trying to discern whether I was really called to ministry in God's church. One of the people who was responsible for the assessment process told me it was quite unusual for someone to have a vision like that and asked me why I thought God might have chosen to speak to me in this way.

"I could only think that he'd tried other more subtle ways and I hadn't responded - so I felt the vision was a bit of a 'kick up the bum' to get on with it! The assessor agreed."

The same assessor at one point quipped "I see we have a rebel in our midst." Eleanor is happy to wear the label.

"I think Jesus was a rebel. Quite challenging when it comes to the status quo. I have an interest in the fringes of society. We've got lots of families struggling with poverty. Folk with low self-esteem. People just need a bit of a leg up. That's where my heart lies."

Eleanor has worked with Churches Together in Cumbria and other groups to raise awareness of domestic violence.

Holy Trinity and St Barnabas have joined other local churches in providing summer holiday clubs.

Regular events such as Tea@HT and Soup@Sandsfield bring families and communities together, with many elderly people benefiting.

Eleanor was instrumental in founding Carlisle Community Choir and Trinity Area Community Trust, which provides activities such as play groups.

"If you thought of doing all those things at the beginning it would seem like a big mountain to climb. But God has led us to expand the ministry and the church one step at a time."

One of the biggest challenges came in the aftermath of Storm Desmond. Holy Trinity provided food, clothing and shelter for flood victims. Eleanor recalls: "Volunteers put the kettles on and opened up the church hall around midnight on the night of the flood. We stayed open around the clock for almost two weeks - providing warmth, food, clothing and cuddles - initially for folks who had to leave their homes through that first night, including some residents of John Street Hostel.

"The response from other churches in the area was amazing and we finished up with a rota to make and deliver sandwiches and water to the folks living in the streets around the flooded area."

Although Eleanor has become embedded in her community, some locals were initially sceptical about a female vicar. "I felt it quite difficult at first," she admits. "I was almost apologetic for being a woman in what seemed like a man's world. I wanted to be a woman, not a woman pretending to be a man. There were a lot of women in the early church. Somewhere along the way there was a big move away from that. I think that's a great shame.

"I remember the first couple of weeks I was here, I came to do a service at Yewdale Community Centre. A lady came up to me afterwards in tears. She said 'I want to apologise. I have been so against women's ordination. I'm so sorry.'

"People are against things for so many reasons, often for reasons they don't understand. In the Carlisle area there are some people who still wouldn't agree with the ordination of women. But generally we try to treat each other with love and respect."

Eleanor is not planning a quiet retirement. She will lead Cumbria Cursillo; a movement encouraging people to explore their faith. She will continue to work with people who have suffered domestic violence.

And she is looking forward to spending more time with her husband Michael. They married in 2000, having met when Michael was vocal coach at Carlisle Cathedral. "I thought I'd made a nice new friend, nothing more," says Eleanor. "But within about six weeks he proposed and my answer was 'I thought you'd never ask!'

"We married 18 months later with a civil ceremony - we have both been married before - followed by a wonderful service to dedicate our marriage to God in the cathedral.

"We both remarried divorcees. That was a challenge for the church. Not quite the off-the-peg vicar."

There's a clear contrast in their personalities: Michael quiet, Eleanor effusive. "I reckon we're a half-decent team. He keeps me right. He's been a tower of strength. He's been particularly engaged with the parish, not just musically. Michael organises a trip every year for members of the church that might not otherwise have got a holiday."

Even matches made in heaven are not perfect. Eleanor laughs and says: "The only person I've ever fallen out with at a PCC [parochial church council] meeting is my husband. We had a disagreement over how I was handling something."

Michael is currently spending several weeks working in Hong Kong and China. Eleanor had her official farewell service at St Barnabas last month so he could attend. "We had a packed house. We called it a celebration. There were a few tears but hopefully more laughter. There was a serious side. I looked back at key milestones and encouraged them to look forward.

"I suppose the thing I feel guiltiest about is leaving the parish in interregnum for a while. They might be looking forward to it - get rid of the bolshy woman! I know the team is more than capable of looking after things. Maybe it's time that someone with a fresh perspective comes in and works with the existing, amazing ministry team."

What will she miss most? "The people that Michael and I have served over the years are the most important thing. They really do feel like family...I'm getting emotional now."

After dabbing her eyes, she says: "I will on occasion go and help here or elsewhere. Conduct funerals. Maybe help with the odd baptism. A priest might retire but you want to contribute still to the people in church.

"I'm already cooking the turkey for Tea@HT at Christmas. I'll be doing a service at St Barnabas on Christmas Eve. I'm going to be around. I think that's why it's less emotional than it might have been. It doesn't feel like a goodbye."

Eleanor's last regular services will be this Sunday: 9.30am at St Barnabas, 11am at Holy Trinity, then a baptism at St Barnabas.

She loves children, and is looking forward to more time with the seven grandchildren from her and Michael's first marriages.

"I've baptised well over 200 children," she says. "When babies are born, it's delightful. And the other side of life. When people are ill. When someone's died. It's a great privilege meeting with families at a time of loss and sadness. A funeral should be about being grateful for a life and celebrating it. It's very, very sad with a child or a baby. It's a different thing then.

"People ask 'Why does God let that happen?' God made us and the world to be perfect. But he didn't make machines. He made people. We have bodies that wear out and sadly there are still things that the medical profession can't detect or cure.

"God hurts when we hurt and He never leaves us - loving us through illness, hurt, confusion and bereavement. I hope to bring love and care and hope into people's lives. I don't have the answers - God's ways are mysterious. But I hang on to the promises of Jesus and try to share that hope with those I meet."