Stop what you're doing. You, put that salad down. The Pizza Trophy is back!

Seriously - if your mouth isn’t already watering about the prospect of another group stage game in a lower-league cup competition which for the last five years has been hijacked by Premier League clubs and in the process become something which is a classic example of everything wrong with modern football and greed and money and greed and stockpiling and greed and greed, then are you really human at all?

But don’t fear. If your motor isn’t running at the thought of some raw Papa John’s action, we can help you with a handpicked rundown of some of the things said by EFL Trophy chiefs and other officials since the heartwarming arrival, in 2016, of the big clubs and their legions of young lads who can now, praise be, get some men’s football in front of record low attendances at EFL grounds!

"We are a big-time player in the area of youth development.” (Shaun Harvey, 2016)

“All the lads who have dropped down this season, like Wes Brown, have been terrific.” (Blackburn’s Damien Johnson ahead of 36-year-old Brown’s appearance for Rovers’ Under-21s against Carlisle, 2016)

“It has been designed to help reinvigorate the competition as it was widely felt that it had lost some of its purpose in previous seasons.” (Shaun Harvey, 2016)

"I thought he had a poor 45 seconds.” (Bradford City assistant boss Kenny Black after substituting keeper Colin Doyle after two minutes to negotiate rules on first-team players in the starting XI, 2016)

"It is absolutely key we appeal to supporters.” (Shaun Harvey, 2018)

“Attendance: 202.” (Report of Burton Albion v Middlesbrough Under-21s, 2018)

"Hopefully this will assist the decision-makers in re-shaping the competition for the benefit of clubs like Carlisle United and its supporters." (Carlisle supporters trust director Jim Mitchell, introducing a survey on the Trophy format, 2017)

“We took the view that we had to do what was in the best interests of the club.” (Carlisle chief executive Nigel Clibbens after explaining why the Blues voted in favour of keeping Premier League Under-21s in the competition despite the survey results, 2017)

“We’re delighted to be associated with so many well respected and prestigious clubs participating in the Checkatrade Trophy and we look forward to engaging with fans over the coming season.” (Kevin Byrne of the new format's first sponsor, Checkatrade, 2016)

“This trophy was dying. Either change it or kill it. If you don’t like it…don’t go!” (Kevin Byrne to a boycotting fan on Twitter, 2016)

“I’m confident the format will continue to prosper with increasing support from clubs and their fans.” (Shaun Harvey, 2018)

“Tonight’s attendance is 875.” (Announcement of the second-lowest crowd in Brunton Park's history at Carlisle United’s game against Everton’s Under-21s, 2021)

“The Trophy, remember, is to try and encourage some of the under-23 teams to play their players and get them used to playing men’s football. It’s all part of a big scheme.” (John Nixon, 2020)

“Andrew Crofts' side ended up playing a third of the game with ten men, after Gary Dicker was sent off after 60 minutes.” (Brighton & Hove Albion’s report on 35-year-old Dicker’s red card for their Under-21s against Walsall)

"We look forward to working with Papa John’s over the next three years to build on the success of the competition." (EFL chief commercial officer Ben Wright).

"566." (Attendance for Fleetwood Town v Leicester City U21s, 2021)

“We need to attract fans to these games.” (Shaun Harvey, 2018)

“Oh let me gaze upon your curves, instead of Ipswich Town’s reserves.” (Half Man Half Biscuit, ‘Swerving the Checkatrade’, 2018)