Auditions will take place soon for Cumbrians who want to appear on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

The ITV quiz show, hosted by Jeremy Clarkson, is inviting applications from people in this part of the world who fancy going for the £1million jackpot.

I used to love watching the programme.

My enthusiasm waned in 2000 when Judith Keppel became the first contestant to win a million.

I’m sure Judith is very nice. But watching someone from an aristocratic background win lots of money is not my idea of entertainment.

Judith’s ancestry can be traced back to Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine... who were the subjects of her million-pound question.

Her win must have been painful for the programme’s producers.

They’ll know that a rags to riches story is much more heartwarming than a riches to even more riches story.

I’m not suggesting that posh people shouldn’t be allowed to appear on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?... actually, I am suggesting that.

Benefits are means-tested. So why not quiz show prizes?

There must be a way of vetting applicants to ensure that those with lots of money don’t win even more.

Call it positive discrimination. Call it envy. Call it bitterness.

But if you disagree, ask yourself this. If you switched on the show and saw Jacob Rees-Mogg sitting there, would you think “Good for him - he could do with the money”?

I suppose it would be compulsive viewing, in the same way that we tend to gawp when driving past a crash scene.

“Welcome to the show, Jacob - or can I call you Jake?”

“No, you may not.”

We’d have to hope that his quest for the cash was derailed by questions about popular culture and working-class people.

If not, he’d sail through to the dramatic finale.

“So, Jake. Sorry - Jacob... which former editor of The Times was also chairman of the Arts Council and vice-chairman of the BBC’s board of governors?”

“Why, it was my father, of course.”

“Congratulations - you’ve won! What will you do with the money?”

“Oh, I hadn’t really thought about that. How much is it?”

“A million pounds!”

“Is that all - a measly million? Well, I suppose it might pay for a new place to spend the summer. Scotland, perhaps.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a lie down. I’m going back to the House of Commons.”