Marketing company OnePoll claims there is a new trend: the EverGroover.

This is ‘a movement of 40-somethings hitting the clubs and living their best lives, refusing to give up partying and clubbing no matter their age!’

Firstly, my apologies for quoting the appalling phrase ‘living their best lives’.

My best life would involve repeatedly giving a Chinese burn to the person who invented it.

The research, by ticketing platform Eventbrite, suggests that 2.6 million Brits aged over 45 go clubbing at least once a week.

Most of them don’t mean to. They think they’re going to the fish and chip shop or the newsagent, but their eyesight lets them down.

Being over 45 myself, I know the feeling.

I also know that it’s hard to let go of one’s youth.

Or a handrail when going up a steep flight of stairs.

I don’t remember going clubbing after the age of 35.

But then I don’t remember what I had for my tea last night.

I always felt clubbing was a young person’s game.

Most of mine took place in Carlisle during the 1990s at a brilliant place called The Twisted Wheel.

This was a dingy basement of guitar music, cheap cider and sticky carpets.

I started to feel old there when I reached 25.

Fair play to those at least 20 years older than that who still have the energy.

They’re hitting the tiles when most their age are grouting them.

I’m just curious about why older people enjoy clubbing.

Perhaps they want to meet potential partners and are so old that they’ve never heard of the internet.

Or perhaps they have the same internet speed as me.

In which case it’s quicker to go out, get plastered, meet various people, go on dates with them and form a relationship with one than to wait for a dating website to load.

Maybe, for reasons which escape me, they enjoy dancing.

Even in my teens and twenties, dancing never appealed.

At the Twisted Wheel I only ever danced to two songs.

When Jump Around by House of Pain was played, I jumped around.

When Sit Down by James was played, I sat down. I needed to after all that jumping around.

OnePoll claims that 60 per cent of EverGroovers say nothing will stop them partying.

Nothing except a back spasm, a knee locking or being asked to move away from the speakers because their hearing aid is causing feedback.