Tuesday, 01 December 2015

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Game of two halves

Congratulations to all involved in the CFM v Hollyoaks charity football match at Workington Reds.

News & Star journalist Roger Lytollis had the unusual experience of playing for both teams.

He began the match playing for CFM but was substituted during the first half for what he describes as “tactical reasons”.

We must assume CFM wanted to employ the tactic of winning the match.

Shortly after this a Hollyoaks player was unable to carry on after suffering an injury.

The soap stars had no substitutes and faced playing the rest of the match with just 10 men.

Hollyoaks captain Nick Pickard appealed to Workington Reds assistant manager Tony Elliott – who was CFM manager for the day – to see if he could spare one of his players.

Elliott surveyed his bench and realised that putting Lytollis on the opposing team would be a managerial masterstroke.

And so it proved, with CFM eventually triumphing 6-5.

At least Lytollis had the experience of spending half-time in the soap stars’ dressing room.

“It was fairly quiet in there,” he reports. “I think most of us were too knackered to speak.

“The manager was Jimmy McKenna, who plays Jack Osborne. He didn’t waste time with tactics, he just said ‘Never mind, lads – an hour from now you’ll all be on the beer.’ It seemed to work because Hollyoaks won the second half 5-4.”

Lytollis has spent the past week awaiting a call from Hollyoaks’ casting manager. The wait goes on.


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Do you feel safe going to football matches?

1: Yes - there is hardly any trouble compared to the bad old days

2: No - sadly you will always get idiots who spoil if for rest

3: Depends - some clubs' fans are far worse than others

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