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Friday, 01 August 2014

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Mark Green

The woeful Widdecombe must go before she wins

Is it any coincidence that the worst-ever X Factor competition is being matched by the silliest Strictly Come Dancing series?

Last updated 11 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

How do you stop, or spot, a man like Bird?

How do you stop a maniac? How do you spot a maniac? Can you tell if a quiet, likeable bloke is at the end of his tether, about to flip and cause mayhem and misery. About to bring death and devastation to families, neighbourhoods, villages, whole towns?

Last updated 4 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Exfoliate in the kitchen

mirror1111 A strange picture of this great nation’s womenfolk emerged this week. According to one in-depth forensic analysis of our ultra-modern, hi-tech, time-poor, attention-deficited lifestyle, BRITISH WOMEN SPEND 5,445 HOURS AT THE KITCHEN SINK!

Last updated 28 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

It’s got to be Delia’s

IT’S almost Halloween and already there are mince pies in the shops, rows over who is and isn’t coming to visit and adverts for pantos have appeared – oh yes they have...

Last updated 28 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Rooney’s not daft

I WOULD like to issue an apology to Wayne Rooney on behalf of this column and this newspaper.

Last updated 28 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Fuel for police critics

IT’S shocking, depressing and more than a little worrying that Cumbria’s finest can’t manage to put the right fuel in their cars.

Last updated 28 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Relief for Ma’am’s footmen

It is a sign of the hard-up, cash-strapped belt-tightening times that The Queen has cancelled this year’s Christmas party for her staff.

Last updated 21 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Great news: More shows, less Simon Cowell

The good news for X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent fans is that Simon Cowell has signed a new multi-million deal for the next three years.

Last updated 21 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Time to send in the youth army

So the government has decided to halve our military and offer our hardware on a timeshare basis to other countries.

Last updated 21 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Those are very far away but this is small

I don't know whether to be impressed or worried that a new galaxy has been spotted far, far, far away.

Last updated 21 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Google's clever cars

Not content with dominating our internet communications network, Google boffins are now testing out self-driving cars.

Last updated 14 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

A Green report? Well, it’s certainly recycled

Picture an orange-faced beaming Dale Winton in a bright purple suit.

Last updated 14 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

The idea is pants

For centuries, women have been tortured and tormented by fashion and trying to look good.

Last updated 7 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

And so are these presents

High-heeled shoes that play music, a lilo for your laptop, a weird-looking mug... what more could a sane, sensible person want for Christmas?

Last updated 7 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Workington, Whitehaven, it’s time to merge teams

We got a glimpse of times past and what they could be again at the one-off Cumbria vs England rugby league match last weekend. (2 comments)

Last updated 7 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Relax, it’s not so bad

We’re constantly being told that ‘60 is the new 30’, or ‘50 is the new 40’ as the average age of our population gradually increases.

Last updated 2 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Money saving expert

When the county council came up with the brilliant idea of telling their staff how to save money because they were changing the way wages were being paid, they asked me for some ideas.

Last updated 30 September 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Nando’s will help fill up Carlisle

It is great news that Nando’s is to open a new restaurant in Carlisle.

Last updated 30 September 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Making the posh look silly – great!

I’m looking forward to the delayed return of The Apprentice to our tellies. It was due to be broadcast last spring, but was held back by the General Election. And it seems the hard cold reality of recession has elbowed its way into this series.

Last updated 30 September 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Can Google answer this one?

What is the sky? Why don’t we eat slugs? Why can’t I have that toy? Just some of the questions that have boggled my mind in recent years.

Last updated 23 September 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

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