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Wednesday, 05 August 2015

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Mark Green

Fancy a spot of toilet golf? Me neither

If you are looking for daft gifts, the glossy weekend magazines are stuffed full of them at this time of year.

Last updated 25 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

It’s a jingle out there

It seems the season to be not-so-very-jolly is already here... I thought a murky Monday at the end of the month when people wouldn’t have much money would be the perfect time to go Christmas shopping.

Last updated 25 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Girls - get moving for Christmas!

A gloomy word of warning for all the ladies. This is the season of giving, but also of millions of surveys, polls and studies.

Last updated 25 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

An Australia win? We’ll drink to that

An Aussie brewery has promised to buy a beer for every adult in the country if Australia beat England in the upcoming Ashes series.

Last updated 18 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Small comfort from body parts scandal

The findings of the Redfern Inquiry and a shamefaced Government apology for stealing body parts from dead Sellafield workers might bring a shred of comfort to the families involved.

Last updated 18 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Will’s a ring master

Whoever agreed to wed Prince William would always have to marry the memory of his mother as well.

Last updated 18 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Ex-civil servants will make perfect army of Whitehall-watchers

What a clever and thoughtful idea of David Cameron to launch a “transparency website” so we can all keep a check on what the Government is doing and what it is spending.

Last updated 11 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

We cannot allow our tourist trade to drop

After a year of mayhem and misery, horror and heartbreak, it is amazing and encouraging to hear that tourism in the Cumbria is still thriving.

Last updated 11 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

The woeful Widdecombe must go before she wins

Is it any coincidence that the worst-ever X Factor competition is being matched by the silliest Strictly Come Dancing series?

Last updated 11 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

How do you stop, or spot, a man like Bird?

How do you stop a maniac? How do you spot a maniac? Can you tell if a quiet, likeable bloke is at the end of his tether, about to flip and cause mayhem and misery. About to bring death and devastation to families, neighbourhoods, villages, whole towns?

Last updated 4 November 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Exfoliate in the kitchen

mirror1111 A strange picture of this great nation’s womenfolk emerged this week. According to one in-depth forensic analysis of our ultra-modern, hi-tech, time-poor, attention-deficited lifestyle, BRITISH WOMEN SPEND 5,445 HOURS AT THE KITCHEN SINK!

Last updated 28 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

It’s got to be Delia’s

IT’S almost Halloween and already there are mince pies in the shops, rows over who is and isn’t coming to visit and adverts for pantos have appeared – oh yes they have...

Last updated 28 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Rooney’s not daft

I WOULD like to issue an apology to Wayne Rooney on behalf of this column and this newspaper.

Last updated 28 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Fuel for police critics

IT’S shocking, depressing and more than a little worrying that Cumbria’s finest can’t manage to put the right fuel in their cars.

Last updated 28 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Relief for Ma’am’s footmen

It is a sign of the hard-up, cash-strapped belt-tightening times that The Queen has cancelled this year’s Christmas party for her staff.

Last updated 21 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Great news: More shows, less Simon Cowell

The good news for X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent fans is that Simon Cowell has signed a new multi-million deal for the next three years.

Last updated 21 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Time to send in the youth army

So the government has decided to halve our military and offer our hardware on a timeshare basis to other countries.

Last updated 21 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Those are very far away but this is small

I don't know whether to be impressed or worried that a new galaxy has been spotted far, far, far away.

Last updated 21 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Google's clever cars

Not content with dominating our internet communications network, Google boffins are now testing out self-driving cars.

Last updated 14 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

A Green report? Well, it’s certainly recycled

Picture an orange-faced beaming Dale Winton in a bright purple suit.

Last updated 14 October 2010
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

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