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Sunday, 31 August 2014

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Tuesday: Don’t do tripe

It is Valentine’s Day on Tuesday, so get your excuses in now...

I was lucky to be sent an email from an internet restaurant booking service offering top tips for Valentine’s etiquette.

It included lots of important information about choosing a restaurant that reflects “your date’s interests and personality” and one that “matches your budget”.

In among all this stating the bleedin’ obvious was the classic line: “Avoid foods that could kill the mood – eating tripe may not be your most attractive look!”

Now, I’m an old-fashioned kind of bloke, but even I’ve given up on tripe.

It was a favourite of my dad’s, along with cow heel, pig’s trotters and pease pudding.

But who sells tripe these days?

More to the point, which restaurant dares to have it on the menu?

I don’t think even Heston Blumenthal is that brave.

And this worldly piece of advice to avoid tripe is then contradicted by another top tip that urges us to: “Get creative and do something a little unexpected and different.”

Well, surely this would be going to a tripe restaurant (it’s in my budget).

On second thoughts, tripe just about sums up the advice offered in the email.

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