Stepping on the scales

Well that was an experience. I’d been promised by my now not-so-best pal that lots of blokes go to fat club. They don’t, or at least they certainly don’t go to ours.

I entered a room full of women, many of them menopausal, and none of them looking like I might have the slightest thing in common with them (apart from the obvious weight problem). I swear I heard one of them ask another if she thought my mate and I looked like a couple.

To be fair to them they pretty much all smiled and nodded, but in a way that said “fresh meat” far louder then it said; “welcome, pleased to meet you”.

As we waited in line they said that by coming to this class I’d lose pounds quickly – and they weren’t wrong, the joining fee had to be paid upfront (before I’d decided if I actually wanted to join!) and then there was the weekly class fee, meaning I didn’t get much change out of tenner.

After settling up it was time to get on the scales. When I was in peak condition a few years back I weighed about 18 stones, the last time I got weighed properly was a couple of years ago and at that time I tipped the scales at around 22 and a half, but I know from my clothes that I’m going to be heavier then I’ve ever been. I’m guessing it’ll be in somewhere around the 23 stone mark.

“Whenever you’re ready” says the lady with the biro behind the desk. I stepped onto the scales and was, for the first time in this process, actually taken aback. “25 stone 3.5lbs” she whispered quietly to me, as if it was a great secret that I’m a fattie. She then made a quick note in my book and asked if I’d like to stay for ‘the group’.

I was shell-shocked, 25 stone 3.5lbs? That really is fat; that is fatter than fat, that’s the kind of fat you read about in the papers and see on dodgy satellite documentaries where they are using a crane to take some American guy to the shops.

Shock was followed by realisation. I am going to have to do something about my weight, and I’m not just here to give my friend moral support.

I muttered something inaudible to the lady as I choked on my words before walking slowly to the seats near the back of the room.

What followed ‘in group’ is worthy of a blog post all of its own – so rather than over-write this one I’ll add another post in a day or two.