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Tuesday, 29 July 2014

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Anne Pickles

You won’t have my cake and eat it. I can’t bake one

Cake? Why would I want to go to a cake...erm, thing? I haven’t baked a cake since I was at school, haven’t eaten one since I started this wretched diet and wouldn’t know an upside-down from a tipsy-turvy, even were I to stand on my head and study both through bottle bottoms.

Last updated 17 August 2012
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Politicians have no place in this new hope and glory

Well, that was fun. More than fun, it was uplifting, refreshing, awe-inspiring, exciting. (12 comments)

Last updated 14 August 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

It has to be done if I want to wear high heels at 80

This dieting lark is a bewildering business. Who’d have thought eating less would take up so much time, money, effort and concentration?

Last updated 10 August 2012
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

We were right all along...

Wait long enough and everything that goes around comes around again to prove you weren’t such a silly old witterer after all. (1 comment)

Last updated 7 August 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

In tears over the rowing? You’ve got to be choking

From her hot foreign holiday hideaway, friend Twinkle was getting a bit teary. “I don’t believe myself,” she said in a whimper suggesting either she or the mobile line was cracking up... on account of excessive sun-drenching perhaps.

Last updated 3 August 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

London Olympics opening ceremony was bonkers - and stunning

Bonkers. No two ways about it. The Olympics opening ceremony spun so far off the wall, it broke the sound barrier. (13 comments)

Last updated 31 July 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Got any sheep in Lycra for tonight’s ceremony, Danny?

It was the kind of reader challenge most journalists relish. The more highfalutin call it interaction. Flaming impossible seemed nearer the truth on this occasion.

Last updated 27 July 2012
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Why can’t you let us enjoy the Games, Seb?

By now, we might have expected colourful bunting to have appeared all over the place again. (13 comments)

Last updated 24 July 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Fairtrade must begin at home to help our dairy farmers

It didn’t ought to be so difficult. Why waste more time in argument? A farmer whose business is to produce milk has to be able to make his business pay. (12 comments)

Last updated 24 July 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Olympic Games security: Heads used to roll for things like this

Just when you decide it’s time to be positive about those Games – more beaten into submission than newly sporty – along come the circus clowns to hurl a few more gremlins into the works. (10 comments)

Last updated 17 July 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

More rain? Well, God is miffed about Higgs Boson

It wasn’t the first instance of deeply perplexing misunderstanding throwing equilibrium out of kilter – not by a long way.

Last updated 6 July 2012
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

So you’ll all be taking a pay cut then, will you?

MPS could be given Fridays off under plans currently being considered by... er, MPs. (15 comments)

Last updated 3 July 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Armed Forces deserve praise every day

armedfd47 There wasn’t an Armed Forces Day when I was at school. And for the life in me, I can’t imagine why.

Last updated 3 July 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Green fingers, grey skies and we’re red, white and blue

They say you’ve to reach a certain age before you can take a genuine interest in gardening – beyond reading Alan Titchmarsh’s fantasy fiction, anyway.

Last updated 29 June 2012
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

I love my garden. It’s like another room in the pub

They say you’ve to reach a certain age before you can take a genuine interest in gardening – beyond reading Alan Titchmarsh’s fantasy fiction, anyway.

Last updated 29 June 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

A long way to fall from your moral high horse Mr Cameron

David Cameron photo You’ve got to hand it to him. He’s hit the nail right on the head. David Cameron’s not nearly as daft as his hastily dumped pasty tax plan might suggest.

Last updated 26 June 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

It’s not a question of counting but of caring

The recent rush of bad news for families – and those children who would dearly love one – was desperate in its pessimism. (3 comments)

Last updated 19 June 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

I’m thrilled by torch – or is it the chance of a toast?

Never one to allow a special occasion to pass without note, it was with some excitement I strode into my local Spar shop.

Last updated 15 June 2012
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Please show this Euro borefest the red card

I’m assured it hasn’t been going on long at all – has barely started, in fact. So why does this football thing seem to be continuing longer than the war in Europe? (40 comments)

Last updated 12 June 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

All those complaints... but we still kept watching!

We Brits have an intriguing approach to national occasions of historic importance – particularly the royal ones.

Last updated 9 June 2012
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

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