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Sunday, 26 October 2014

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Anne Pickles

Bahamas island? Blencathra? It’s too much trouble

He was perhaps a tad too excited to have remembered the detail entirely accurately – but he obviously meant well.

Last updated 9 May 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Looking forward to gardening and growing old and silly

Brace yourselves – the gardening gloves are coming out. May has arrived and with it comes the cue for getting down and dirty in beds and borders. That’s the law of fair weather horticulturists.

Last updated 2 May 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

First mortgage? Then pay attention

It was a tense day of deep strain and toe-curling fear. The man in the suit, leaned forward across his desk and demanded an answer...

Last updated 29 April 2014
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Blob! Blazer Boy! Grow up and stop acting like children

Back to school week. You’ll have noticed the change. Truculence, pent up annoyance, dark scowls and bitter complaints about getting up early, arriving home late, being told what to do... and that’s just the teachers.

Last updated 25 April 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Innocence shouldn’t mean financial ruin

Former Commons deputy speaker Nigel Evans makes a good case for Legal Aid – even if he does so unwittingly. (5 comments)

Last updated 16 April 2014
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Our princely friend helps us to realise we are special

Always good to have friends in high places. Even better to be on matey terms with the kind of chums who don’t mind stepping down in the world to drop in on our more humble abodes on occasion.

Last updated 11 April 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Maria Miller should no longer be on our payroll

How does he solve a problem like Maria? Any suggestions post haste – or by Royal Mail’s closest approximation – to 10 Downing Street please. (4 comments)

Last updated 8 April 2014
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

On-street parking charges: Don't drive our recovery out of town

It is never too late to think again. There is no shame in a change of heart. There can only be credit in finding a better way. (59 comments)

Last updated 7 April 2014
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

All this faffing about is making me feel really hungry

Quiet please, I’m counting. Two lettuce leaves, one portion of chips, cauliflower cheese – does that qualify? – and a strawberry jam doughnut.

Last updated 4 April 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Who is Rory Stewart?

Rory Stewart photo Rory Stewart, MP and Superman, has taken some derisory brickbats lately. It happens when comic book saviours stick their heads above the parapet – without first changing clothes in a phone box. (16 comments)

Last updated 1 April 2014
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Keep your balance over clocks and inclement weather

Spring forward, fall back – that’s the way to do it. Unless, of course, you tend to fall forward after overdoing a spring fling, in which case you’re in deep trouble and won’t care what time it is anyway.

Last updated 28 March 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Budget? I was hit by attacks of laughter

mbgeoirgie It might not have been the most radical, revolutionary, big-spending Budget anyone can remember – but it contained more than the usual quota of laughs.

Last updated 25 March 2014
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Racial hostility has no defence. It isn’t merely politically incorrect - it’s just plain dumb

Carlisle took a nasty slap across the face when the whole country heard our city described as a racist place, in which hateful, targeted abuse was tolerated widely as just another part of its famously quaint charm. (4 comments)

Last updated 21 March 2014
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

This coin will bring back memories - if you’re old enough

It was a Methuselah moment. Eyes around the table glazed over in that lights-are-on-but-nobody’s-home fashion; vacancy blanked every face in the room. Then...

Last updated 21 March 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Pity the monolithic monument to tasteless 1960s

Civic Centre abseil photo It happens to every old girl eventually. Remembering how once she was pretty and shiny and fetchingly fresh-faced, she must face the truth painfully in middle age... she’s a blot on the landscape.

Last updated 14 March 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

It's true, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone

It shouldn’t be difficult to flirt again with a little more of what you used to fancy – the stuff that used to do you good. In theory, it should be a mere matter of reclamation. Lemon bon-bons, sherbet dips, stringy twigs of liquorice, a smoke on the top deck of the last bus home...

Last updated 7 March 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Of course 16 year olds should have the vote

Sometimes the answer to the question is so glaringly obvious it’s embarrassing – even before the question is asked. (11 comments)

Last updated 4 March 2014
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

Why it never pays to laugh in the face of the law

Somebody I once knew has been up before the beak. He’s up for nothing much at all at the moment – he being under nighttime curfew, electronically tagged and deeply in the doghouse with his missus.

Last updated 28 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

Savile’s crimes were so appalling, they now seem close to incredible

jimmysaviledfdffggfd There were few shocks or surprises in the NSPCC report on Jimmy Savile’s sex offences against children and young people.

Last updated 25 February 2014
Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk

I’m sticking at 37, where I can be blase about age

You know you’re getting old when you watch a noisy, boozy Brit Awards night on TV and wonder crossly whether an Arctic Monkey’s behaviour will be punished by his mother when he gets home.

Last updated 21 February 2014
Published by http://www.cumberlandnews.co.uk

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