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Saturday, 01 November 2014

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The results of going green

In howling gales and lashing rain – this winter’s scarily bizarre default conditions – the weekend’s dutiful recycling exercise was less than pleasant.

sm carburgh
Sinking feeling: A car is stranded near Burgh by Sands as high tides hit Cumbria

Sorting plastic from glass, sifting paper from cardboard; bagging and boxing appropriately, with jam jars all washed and sparkly for their smashing trip to who knows where...

Yes, these are the virtuous chores of caring for the environment. Keep your emissions down, pay your green taxes, then pay some more. Never let a plastic butter tub creep into your grey bin. Your climate depends on you. Your government is watching.

It’s changing, you see. Nature – so long abused by man – dictates that anything can and will happen to blow us off our feet, wash away our railway lines, flood out our homes, freeze our pipes, send blizzards in spring, drought in summer... unless we pay heed, do as we’re told and fork out more cash.

That Nature is already wreaking havoc with an angry ferocity might well make you wonder whether washing marmalade pots and recycling Corn Flakes boxes are actually worth the effort. Obviously they are.

Imagine what would have hit us had we not offered respect for the environmentally friendly binning, bagging and boxing – which requires three lorries to visit every household to keep the environment squeaky clean.

Armageddon – that’s what!

Now there can be no argument. Our climate is fighting back with vengeance. Nature is having her sport, blowing gales so fierce our pathetically pointless wind turbines have to be turned off for fear of them taking flight. We are battered, bruised and bewildered by elemental forces against which we are powerless.

Nature has invited the sea to sweep and engulf beyond the shore. She has sent rain to saturate and soak in city, town and country. And as for snow and ice – she hasn’t even started with that lot yet.

So, do we believe now in the apocalyptic effects of climate change? Do we accept our duty to work tirelessly for environment, embrace our responsibility to planet?

Yes we do. But – since they’ve just announced they’re cutting 1,500 jobs from the specialist Environment Agency – do they?

Not great at practising what they preach, are they? Bet those mindless ministers, with their scripted sanctimony, don’t even bother washing their jam jars either.

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