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Saturday, 12 July 2014

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Please show this Euro borefest the red card

I’m assured it hasn’t been going on long at all – has barely started, in fact. So why does this football thing seem to be continuing longer than the war in Europe?

My goodness what a bore. What a long, slow, grinding drone of mono-toned punditry is dominating an already disappointing summer.

The weather is wet, temperatures are droopy. Adrian Chiles is both wet and droopy – and that’s only on the telly.

I can switch that off – or at least switch channels to catch a weepy little rom-com or nail-biting thriller on Sky Movies.

But Euro 2012 has a way of overwhelming life wherever you go, whatever you do, however hard you try to avoid it. There’s no hiding place.

Experts are everywhere. Why they have so much trouble signing strikers or appointing managers at any level of this national obsession is beyond me.

This office is full of them – each better and more intelligently strategic in his plan for victory than any now collecting obscenely gigantic fees for what they do with mediocrity. Bet yours is too.

With smiles and admiring nods, any of those enslaved to a game mistakenly taken for sport is waved happily home from work early to catch a “big match” as though they were being whipped from the subs’ bench to perform a national rescue from the jaws of humiliating defeat.

Imagine if we girls were to mention to the boss in passing: “Must dash two hours before finishing time. Need to buy a Mulberry bag before the sales end.”

Anyone see that working?

Fears and disgust over worrying racist slurs are tolerated; wrangles over high finance and dodgy deals set aside. Fury over drugs cheats and outrageous behaviour? Not now, dear.

And they call it sport?

It’s business. The worst kind of business, if truth be known. Crudely money-motivated business. You might as well set Tesco against Asda and cheer on share price goals. Wear a Marks & Spencer jersey to show team allegiance. Pour good money after bad into Gary Lineker’s pundit pockets.

The worst side of sportsmanship will be exposed during Euro 2012. We all know that. The police know that. There’ll be boozing and fighting and everyone will have a tale to tell afterwards.

“Give Domestic Violence the Red Card this European Cup” is the trite message from Cumbria Constabulary.

Police know major tournaments are hellish torment for families who regularly suffer the drunken rages – or celebrations – of impassioned football followers with tribal instincts and flying fists.

So the police have created a nifty little phrase to capture the sporting mood, suggest to thugs that beating the wife to a pulp could be a sending off offence and to victims that, while the slogan is indeed tastelessly jokey, they can still call the police when they regain consciousness.

Crass and offensive, acknowledging abuse and violence as very much a part of this double standard game. I guess we’d be foolish to expect any different.

Have your say

Typical Anne, and the rest of the whingers, when a great sporting event comes along!
I dont think there is enough football on our TV`s, then, you lot can learn something about the game before you speak. Same old Anne, speaking about something she knows nothing about. As one great man once said
"She`s making it up has she goes along"

Posted by Stephen on 30 June 2012 at 10:49

I quite agree with Anne Pickles,we are supposed to have World Class Players,why then do we never win.Without a doubt to much football.Please give us a break from it.

Posted by Tony Stephenson on 27 June 2012 at 14:24

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