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Wednesday, 01 April 2015

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Love, love me do, you know I love U (turns)

Everybody loves a U-turn. There’s nothing better for quickening the heartbeat, lifting the spirits, pumping the blood more vigorously to all those jaded vital organs.

Governments don’t like the term U-turn. Even – or perhaps most especially when they’ve just done a spin – they hate it.

They’d prefer us to call their turnings rethinks, the results of consultation, proof of having listened.

All of which are undeniably true – and tend to happen immediately before a U-turn.

So, elation knew no bounds when U-turning came not singly, not as a pair, not even as a trio. But in a fab foursome – like The Beatles! How good is that? Doesn’t it just make the eyes water with unbridled joy?

Pasties, pies and all those tasty hot things not at all good for us, were reprieved from the VAT-man’s noose. Static caravans, much-loved of Lake District glampers, grandmas and grandads, were similarly rescued.

Buzzards, threatened with cruel recrimination of cull for their greedily obsessive taste for young pheasants, were spared the killing fields to which they had been condemned. And rich folk wanting something back for donating to charity had their way.

Is there anything left of the Budget?

If a week is a long time in politics, clearly it can also be a rewarding time for complainers. And that should, perhaps, teach us all a valuable lesson.

It’s never too late nor too hopeless to raise objections and voices of dissent. Whether you’re a pasty giant like Greggs or an impassioned humble twitcher, dividends of U-turning are there for the asking.

That’s the good news. Now the rallying call.

Today pasties, parked vans, predatory birds and perks. Tomorrow... austerity!

And that would be the even better news.

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