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Thursday, 30 October 2014

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If only English politicians spent longer in bed too

Sacrebleu! These French politicians are so outrageously naughty – and wickedly unapologetic too. François Hollande, France’s womanising president, has been playing away – in a very Parisian fashion – with a leggy actress, no less.

And does he have the good grace to blush with shamed face, having been discovered in his philandering indiscretion?

Non! Il ne regrette rien.

My, how we did snigger on this side of the Channel, when at what should have had all the makings of a humiliating press conference, accepting French media people shrugged off the affair that had landed his live-in partner – the First Lady – in hospital with ‘The Blues’ and marked him as a Gallic lothario with the classic good looks of a small-town supermarket branch manager.

Witticisms circulated widely on social media networks, taking the Michel out of his tolerated reluctance to answer anything pointed, direct or appropriate to embarrassing circumstances.

My favourite spoof went as follows:

Q: Are you sleeping with that actress?

A: No comment.

Q: What are you going to do about unemployment?

A: Yes, I’m sleeping with that actress.

But are we right to take the rise out of this politician’s peccadilloes simply because they are rooted in sex? Les Anglais are well known for giggling behind their hands whenever sex is discussed in any context. Sex and powerful men is a subject that has us chortling wildly.

Is the odd illicit affair really any bigger a deal for a president than it should be for anyone else? Monsieur Hollande is, after all, unmarried, has had several relationships in the past, has four children with his previous partner and is just one more bloke who moved out the missus to move in his mistress – Valérie Trierweiler – thereby creating a vacancy for the next one.

C’est la vie, n’est-ce pas?

And let’s face it, we’ve political oddities here who would probably do a lot better staying at home in bed with someone they love, instead of expounding on matters of which they have no understanding.

Take the fruitcake David Silvester, for instance. He’s the Oxfordshire UKIP councillor who reckons the recent destructive storms which lashed Britain and flooded so much of the UK were God’s retribution for the government’s decision to legalise gay marriage.

He said David Cameron had acted “arrogantly against the Gospel” and he’d warned him there would be judgement from the Almighty as a result.

“I wrote to David Cameron in April 2012 to warn him that disasters would accompany the passage of his same-sex marriage bill,” he said in a letter to his local paper.

“But he went ahead despite a 600,000-signature petition by concerned Christians and more than half of his own parliamentary party saying that he should not do so. It is his fault that large swathes of the nation have been afflicted by storms and floods.”

Now, unless he knows something the rest of us don’t or unless he has a UKIP hotline to God, the man could probably fairly be described as a few quid short of a full deposit. Nigel Farage thought so. He suspended him from the party.

Whether or not he was right to do so will be made evident by the appearance – or otherwise – of frogs and locusts at the next party conference.

And then there’s Lord Rennard and those ancient complaints of sex harassment, which he denies, and for which he has been told by Nick Clegg to apologise.

Now the Lib Dems are riving themselves apart over what to do next, as heated argument, threat of court action, resignations and angry accusations fly all over the place.

I kind of feel another spoof coming on.

Q: Did you touch that woman’s leg?

A: No, I never did.

Q: Will you apologise?

A: I’m sorry I never touched that woman’s leg.

All in all, Les Anglais would probably do a lot better if they stayed in bed... with a close friend.

Have your say

If you want to avoid Petty party politics then don't go to Australia. The party politics in Australia make the party politics in the uk look like the height of sophistication and restraint.

Posted by sarah on 8 February 2014 at 09:55

why not do away with lib cons labour and have them all working together as one to make the uk a better place to be.
god knows how much would be saved on stupid party publicity conferences etc that would go towards our debit instead of stupid bedroom tax and other hair brain taxes there putting on hard hit families and single parents.
Its making people fall to there knees and forcing poverty on people, many taking there own lives getting taken off disability etc and then telling everyone unimployment and disability has dropped
Theres nothing GREAT about our once proud and to die for Great Britain, But to think of all the dead who fought in the wars to stop 'Hitlers ideal world' from coming over and destroying this country.
our own governments destroying us faster than anything we know, as we all just sit watching and letting it happen.
just wish i had the funds to move to Auz id go tomorrow.

Posted by dave lee jones on 4 February 2014 at 22:22

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