Published at 10:53, Saturday, 15 September 2012

‘A 21-year-old man said to me: ‘Man is gold, woman is silk. Drop gold in the mud it wipes clean, silk is stained forever’.”

Jailed: Above left and top left, Iftikhar and Farzana Ahmed, pictured left with their solicitor, were convicted of the murder of their daughter Shafilea, above and top right

So says solicitor Nazir Afzal as he explains the attitude behind forced marriage and even murder.

A special conference was held in Penrith this week after the county arguably woke up to an issue which has remained largely elsewhere, following the case of Shafilea Ahmed whose body was found dumped in a remote stream in south Cumbria.

The 17-year-old, from Warrington, had been killed by her parents for what they saw as her increasingly western lifestyle “dishonouring” the family.

“They are happening everywhere, happening on your doorstep, but we don’t recognise that,” says Nazir, chief crown prosecutor for the CPS north west area and forced marriage national lead.

“These are crimes that are hidden in plain sight.

“We put victims in peril because we don’t have the knowledge or expertise to recognise them.”

The number of victims of honour killings and abuse is particularly difficult to calculate, he says. Not just because they don’t report abuse but they physically disappear.

“Children and young women go abroad for a ‘family wedding’ or a ‘holiday’ and never come back,” he says.

“Normally, when a crime takes place, the immediate family members report it. If they are responsible, they are not going to do that. I don’t know how many unmarked graves there are in the UK.”

Honour killings and violence – like all domestic abuse – are about power and control, he says, men “controlling women’s behaviour, making choices for them”.

They are not about religion, rather a way of life, an attitude.

“Men make the rules, women have to obey,” he adds.

“So many women are brought up to think men are the answer. They have to abide by that.”

The problem is not restricted to south Asian families, although those are the most common.

Nazir says he has dealt with cases in the travelling community – where girls traditionally marry early, although the community says there is no force involved.

Others have involved Irish families and eastern European ones.

“Forced marriage is not always about violence – it’s emotional pressure, familial pressure, being given no choice. It’s about people being told there is no other way.

“It is the earthquake, followed by a tsunami of suffering, abuse, violence, even murder.”

Nazir is passionate about making an impact and helping the victims. He believes the UK “is leading the world”. Ten years ago, he organised a conference in west London after being asked for help by members of the community who said no-one was talking about it or even admitting it was going on.

“Next month, I’m talking to the UN,” he says. “That wouldn’t have happened were it not for the fantastic work that’s being done.”

Nazir says as many people as possible in local communities need to know the signs to look out for – young girls missing a lot of school or disappearing, signs of physical abuse, being terrified of their families.

“It’s like organised crimes. The families use organised crime techniques. There are multiple offenders, they pre-plan,” he says.

The main thing, though, is education. “We need to get the message out that what mum and dad are doing is not just wrong, it’s criminal. “Education is key. It’s difficult to change your behaviour when you’re 18. You’ve already got set views. We should be talking to them in the kindergarten.”

Cumbria police say they are not aware of any issues of honour killings or abuse in the county but say, because of the population, any cases are more likely to apply to Carlisle or other areas with more migrant workers.

Detective Inspector Barry Carruthers said he was aware of a handful of cases of couples fleeing to Cumbria, from abusive families elsewhere. “A young Asian woman came to Carlisle with her English boyfriend and said they had escaped,” he says. “The main thing is realising that we have to treat it differently. If we treated something as a normal missing person case, for example, it’s about re-uniting the person with their family. That’s clearly not the case in these situations. It’s important officers are trained to recognise that.”

The conference, organised by the Crime Prosecution Service and Safer Cumbria, was held at Newton Rigg on Thursday to raise awareness among authorities of the issue and how to help victims.

Published by http://www.newsandstar.co.uk