Carlisle's 911 star Lee Brennan to Shine A Light on cancer

Some have lost loved ones to the illness. Some have survived it. The man behind the Shine A Light ball, Cumbrian pop star Lee Brennan, is in both camps.

Lee's stepfather Stephen McAlindon died of lung cancer in 2008. At the age of nine Lee was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma. Months of chemotherapy helped to keep him alive. Five years later the cancer returned. So did the trauma of losing his hair.

Lee travelled the world with boy band 911 and sold millions of records. His face adorned countless bedroom walls. But sometimes when he looked in the mirror, what he saw seemed ugly.

He says: "The biggest negative of cancer, aside from the treatment, was that I hated the person staring back at me.

"When I was nine, losing my hair. And then again at 14 or 15. You want to be cool when you're that age. So to suddenly be a shadow of the self that you've been... looking in the mirror killed any confidence and self-esteem I had.

"It made me very within myself as I ended up scrutinising my looks in fine detail, which became really unhealthy mentally.

"Then being in a boy band, you're being scrutinised so much more. That became a big problem as old scars opened and I became a bit obsessed with the way I looked.

"It wasn’t vanity. It was just a very unhealthy way that I viewed myself. I kind of became a perfectionist. I thought I needed to look perfect, whatever that meant. What I was looking at, I wasn't happy with. I was forever getting ready. And I still wouldn't feel good enough."

This will surprise those who fell in love with Lee after seeing him on TV screens and magazine pages. Now 43, he has been clear of cancer for nearly 30 years. The psychological effects lingered much longer.

"I've had plenty of counselling to help me understand things better and to understand myself better. I'm in a lot better place than I ever was.

"I guess perspective is a great thing as well. So many amazing people have gone through the most incredibly traumatic events. And they still stand up tall, face everything head on and inspire others."

Turning negative experiences into something positive - Lee is determined to do the same. So much so that he declares "Having cancer has made me the person I am today. A lot of that is to do with what I went through.

"It taught me many things. Strength, courage. To be patient. To be there for people. To listen to people who sometimes just need to talk about stuff.

"It helped me to talk about my feelings, that it's ok to be vulnerable. And that we never know what's around the corner. Anything can happen."

Anything... such as growing up on Carlisle's Harraby and Currock estates then becoming the only Cumbrian to have a number one single. A Little Bit More was among 911's 10 Top 10 hits.

In the 1990s they were stars around the world. Lee married Lindsay Armaou of Irish girl band B*Witched in 2006. They separated five years later.

Much of Lee's time since then has been spent organising charity events like tonight's ball, at Carlisle's Shepherd's Inn.

911 and fellow chart-toppers 5ive are among the attractions. Other acts include Britain's Got Talent finalist Kyle Tomlinson and opera trio Tre Amici. The night is hosted by John Myers.

The event sold out within 24 hours. It follows last year's inaugural Shine A Light.

"Last year our target was £10,000 and we raised £16,000. This year our target is £15,000. Let's see if we can beat that."

The event is raising money for Macmillan Cancer Support and Teenage Cancer Trust. Stephen McAlindon was looked after by Macmillan nurses at the end of his life. Lee describes his stepdad as "much loved and much missed."

As for Teenage Cancer Trust, Lee has visited one of their units at Newcastle's Royal Victoria Infirmary, where he was treated all those years ago. "The unit is like a home from home. You can feel isolated when you're being treated for cancer."

The desire to be among family and friends is behind Lee's decision to move back to his home city, for the first time since the pursuit of fame took him away. He is in the process of buying a flat in Carlisle.

"I left in February 1995. The longest I've spent here since then is about 10 days. The main thing is, I want to see more of my family. I want to have a permanent base. I've had about nine different homes in the last six years. I'm nearly 44. It feels the right time to come back."

His homecoming allows Lee to star in this year's Sands Centre panto, as the Prince in Sleeping Beauty .

"I've been asked to do panto at the Sands a few times but it never worked out before. This year, with moving back, it's worked out perfectly. I love panto. I love meeting a brand new cast of people. Everybody's pulling together to make it a great show. It's just a buzz."

Lee is also co-writing his first solo album which he hopes to release next year, and perform it in Carlisle.

"I've never done a solo gig in Carlisle. I want to sing tracks from my album as well as perform some 911 songs and talk about my life from growing up until the present day.

"I have so many ideas. I want to do more musical theatre, after touring with Footloose last year. I want to start an events company. As I've got older I've realised I've got lots of things I want to tick off.

"That's another thing cancer gave me - it really made me want to live my life and do as many things as I can. Cancer made me realise you have to go for whatever you want to go for. I drive people crazy with what goals I want to achieve but I see it all as a bucket list kinda thing.

"Cancer made me want to live. It made me have no fears about going for a dream, a goal you think is impossible or other people say is impossible. Nothing is impossible."

This passion has been poured into tonight. A joyous occasion to fight the illness that takes from everyone it touches, even defiant survivors like Lee.

"Memories from that time are all inside a little box," he says. "Sometimes the lid will come off and it can bring out different emotions. But the lid always goes back on. So it's fine. I'm very happy and positive.

"I’ve moved back to Carlisle to start a new chapter and put some of my ideas into action. Life is great and I never take it for granted. I just want to achieve personal goals and help people along the way by doing that."