Turning 40 meant a birthday gift of life

And in one respect it’s very different. This, the night before Jackie’s 50th birthday, is the first time in years that they’ve discussed her 40th birthday.

Life begins at 40? For Jackie it nearly ended. The night before that birthday she became ill. Her vision was misty. She had cramp in her legs and was shivering. Jackie thought it was the cold she had struggled with for weeks, or maybe a reaction to the decongestant she’d taken.

Next morning she phoned her GP surgery for advice and the receptionist advised her to come in. Brian drove her to the Caldbeck practice. 

A doctor immediately recognised the symptoms of meningitis. Jackie was injected with antibiotics and rushed to the Cumberland Infirmary in Carlisle.

She was later told that the GP had saved her life. Much longer, half an hour maybe, and Jackie would have died.

In the decade since she has rarely discussed this with her family. But she wants to raise awareness of meningitis, so has agreed to talk about it.

“There’s a hell of a lot happened in 10 years,” says Brian.

For one thing the children have grown up. Rosie is 19 and working at Reays Coaches in Wigton. Ross is 16 and studying at Nelson Thomlinson School.

“You can’t remember much, Ross, can you?” asks Jackie. “Rosie can remember it clear as a bell.”

Rosie recalls her dad arriving at school earlier than planned to collect her and Ross. They had to be given medication as there was a slight risk they could have contracted meningitis. “I was meant to be doing sports club,” says Rosie. “I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to go.”

From the other side of the room Brian adds: “I didn’t know if Jackie was going to be alive when I went back to the hospital. When you think what might have been, it’s scary.”

That morning Jackie had felt too tired to open her birthday cards and presents. Phoning the doctor was a decision she made reluctantly.

Brian says to her: “It’s always the last resort for you to go to the doctors or give in to anything. That could have backfired.”

After driving his wife to Caldbeck he had to carry her from the car. Soon after that he was following the ambulance which took her to hospital.

Jackie was given more antibiotics on a drip during several days in intensive care. “I vaguely remember one of the nurses saying ‘This lady is 40 today,’” she says.

She left hospital after a week. “She was determined to come home ... typical Jackie,” says Brian.

Jackie adds: “The doctor on the ward after I’d come out of intensive care said the injection of antibiotics saved my life.”

Brian breaks the silence: “You never talk about it, do you?”

“I know I’ve been extremely lucky. I count my blessings every day when I think about it.”

What about her children? Rosie says: “I think about it when mum’s not here. I get all the jobs. I think; ‘it would be like this all the time if mum wasn’t here.’

“I’ve got a friend my age. She lost her mum. I think that’s what it could have been like.”

“Can you remember coming in to see me in hospital?” asks Jackie. “You’d done your own hair. You were ever so proud of yourself.”

“That’s another thing... who’d have taught me to do my own hair?”

Rosie remembers an incident a few days before her mum’s illness. “She wouldn’t let me do something. I stormed out the room and said ‘I hate you!’ I felt really bad about that. We’ve had our rows but I think we just appreciate her now. It shouldn’t take something like that.”

Ross, a man of few words, adds: “I just appreciate you anyway.”

Some people didn’t believe it when they called round to be told that Jackie had nearly died on her 40th birthday. A day at Hexham Racecourse with 50 friends and a trip to New York had to be rearranged.

Other things changed. Jackie had owned Shipshape hairdressers in Thursby for 13 years. The following year she sold it, unable at that stage to cope with working full time.

Jackie had taught some hairdressing classes at Carlisle College. She started doing more. Then she moved to Morton School and is now head of Year 12 at Richard Rose Central and Morton Academies. Her background in vocational education is an attraction for her employers.

“I got my first teaching qualification at 24, studying at nightclass while working in the salon. It’s nice to be involved in making life better for youngsters.

“My sixth formers and year 11s, when they’re leaving in their end of year book I always put ‘Live every day as if it’s your last.’ They always say ‘Why do you put that, miss?’”

May 4, 2006 was not Jackie’s last day. But it left a lasting legacy, physically and psychologically.

“I suffer horrendously with cramp now. Whether it’s an after-effect, I don’t know. I don’t think my hearing is as good. I don’t walk the same.

“I get quite panicky about silly things. I’m not particularly good in crowds. I feel as though that’s since I was poorly. I’m more emotional now than I was.”

“That’s your age,” says Rosie.

They thought that meningitis had invaded the family again three years ago when Ross was taken ill with similar symptoms.

“To me that was like reliving the same situation,” says Brian. “I took him to the doctors in Caldbeck. I picked him out of the car. He’d lost consciousness. I was scared to death. Then he was rushed into hospital. We think it was a reaction to a virus but there was no real diagnosis.”

Jackie’s diagnosis was meningococcal septicaemia type B, which affects about one in 450,000 people. It’s likely that the germs were in the air and affected her because she was already rundown.

She advises people to be aware of the symptoms and realise it could happen to anyone.

“Everybody we spoke to just kept saying; ‘I didn’t know adults could get meningitis.’ I often think about how quick it got through me. It’s no wonder that it kills babies. The rash can sometimes be the last thing to show. And sometimes it doesn’t come.”

The family support the campaign for vaccinations to be extended to older children. 

Jackie says: “About 18 months after I started working at Richard Rose, we lost a student through meningitis. She was in the sixth form. I’m still very raw. When I hear the word meningitis it just flashes back into my mind.”

Jackie has worked hard to move on. But there are inevitably times when she thinks of how close she came to leaving an empty chair in the living room. The simplest things can spark such thoughts.

“I remember the first Christmas after, I got the Advent tree out. The one we put the baubles on.” She looks across at Brian. “I thought; ‘my god... he would never have found that.’”

Ten years ago Jackie was worried about turning 40. Now she is thrilled to be 50.

“I try not to connect meningitis with my birthday. I’ve got a bag with my 40th birthday cards in. I’ve never gone through them since. I can’t pick them up. I will look through them eventually, with a box of hankies.”

“And a glass of wine?” asks Rosie.

“Champagne.”

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Weblink (NHS Choices): Symptoms of meningitis

Weblink: Meningitis Research Foundation