Hard to believe that Cumbria is one of the luckiest places in the country for winning the Lottery.

Especially when you look at the mountain of losing tickets I’ve binned.

They could probably top Great Gable. Binsey at least.

Actually I have won. I once trousered a whopping £7.42.

That was followed eight months later by a fiver.

Not a great return for all my investments.

Repeated investments.

Substantial repeated investments.

It was bad enough not winning and not knowing how unsuccessful I really was.

To be told that I’m a loser in a land of multiple winners makes it all even more galling.

And now they’ve put up a sign to say that Cumbria is a county of winners.

The National Lottery says a new millionaire has been made in the CA postcode area almost every year since it began in 1994.

Can you believe it?

Me neither.

But a gold sign has been unveiled at Carlisle Castle as a mark of recognition of this feat of chance, this unbelievable streak of chance.

To mark our position on the Lottery’s “lucky rich list”.

It is, I suppose, a cause for celebration.

Corks will pop and there may be dancing.

Not in the Green household.

Next there’ll be a flashing neon arrow unveiled outside my house under a 12ft sign proclaiming ‘County Loser’.

I’ve always said that the Lottery is a tax on the stupid and there’s none more dim than me.

But apparently, it is only me who doesn’t win.

It seems as though we’re crowded with winners, especially in the north of the county.

People can’t help winning on the Lottery, there are even reports of people so fed up of having money handed to them that they are seen being chased by Camelot employees waving huge cheques in the air.

Maybe I’m exaggerating. Maybe it’s all a silly publicity stunt to remind us to buy more tickets.

To be more stupid.

That’s me at the front of the queue.

I suppose all this winning is fantastic news for estate agents, car dealers and those involved in the hospitality trade.

People will be looking to move here. All the winners will want to trade up in their property, as well as buy new cars and spend all their time sipping expensive cocktails and eating out.

It is something that county councillors and tourism chiefs should be trumpeting.

Stuff the mountains and lakes, the sweeping vistas and the friendly folk.

Advertise that this is the place where you’re most likely to win the chance to roll in moolah for the rest of your life and people will come flocking.

Special trains will be laid on, ocean liners will dock at Whitehaven, Workington, Maryport and even Harrington.

The current tourism advertising tag reads: Cumbria the place to be.

It should read: The place to w£n.

(Unless you’re me)