This beefcake will make you sick
Last updated 09:22, Monday, 24 March 2008
MEET THE SPARTANS (12A, 83 mins) Comedy. Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Kevin Sorbo, Ken Davitian, Diedrich Bader, Emily Wilson, Nicole Parker. Directors: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer.
LINDSAY Lohan and Paris Hilton can breathe easy – the search for the year’s worst film is over and they are nowhere to be seen in Meet The Spartans.
Or rather, their likenesses appear in Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer’s execrable spoof of the sword and sandals romp 300, but Emily Wilson and Nicole Parker’s look-alikes bear little resemblance to the genuine headline-chasing articles.
The latest, ahem, comedy from the creators of Scary Movie, Date Movie and Epic Movie is a truly soul-crushing experience.
Almost without exception, the impersonators are so bad, you have to wait for them to be addressed by name to realise who they are.
King Leonidas (Maguire) leads his 13-strong army of men with airbrushed six-packs into battle against the might of Xerxes (Davitian).
Bidding farewell to his wife Queen Margo (Electra) in traditional Spartan style – “High fives for the women and open mouth, tongued kisses for the men” – Leonidas skips towards destiny with second-in-command Captain (Sorbo) by his side.
Meanwhile, the Queen seeks to curry favour with Traitoro (Bader), who holds sway with the other senators.
Maguire does a passable impersonation of 300 beefcake Gerard Butler but he has no comic sensibilities, while Electra is reduced to pouting and grinding in as little clothing as possible.
When the Ellen DeGeneres look-alike tells Leonidas, “I can see by your expression, you’re not amused,” she could almost be looking out into the audience.
The film scrapes its single point of merit for being in focus.
DAMON SMITH
